The Middle Child
by BML Hillen-Keene
Summary: set in the spnbb!verse. Because Balthazar needs some love!
1. Chapter 1

_Because I found an awesome art and fic Ask thing on tumbler called Friggin Witches, where Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar are all turned into toddlers and Sam and Dean take them to live at Bobby's while they try to work out how to change them back. All the artwork and fics are awesome, but there's a distinct lack of little Balthazar and fics centred around him, and While Gabriel is my ultimate favourite angel in the whole show, I couldn't just leave poor Balthazar out in the cold, he's adorable too dammit!_

_And thus this fic was born. Balthazar doesn't show up much in it, but I just wanted to sort of set the scene for some Balthazar lovng later on. Please enjoy_

_Disclaimer: Own nothing, just borrowing the characters, and the idea. I'll give them back... soon._

_xxx_

"Where's Balthazar?" Dean asked, suspicious.

Gabriel was colouring quietly beside Castiel, and had been for the past hour and a half, not a single hint of mischief out of him. That was concerning enough by itself, but with Balthazar now noticed to be missing it could only spell disaster.

"Sleeping." Gabriel answered promptly, tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on getting the crayon colour to stay inside the lines.

Dean frowned, not believing that for a second. "Did he get into Bobby's whisky again?" he asked, only because the last time Balthazar had slept in for any length of time the little bastard had gotten into one of Bobby's stashes and given himself a hangover.

"No." Castiel answered, slowly and carefully. Dean knew that meant he was hiding something, or rather, was being made to hide something.

"Gabriel." Dean said warningly, because it would be just like Gabriel to rope Castiel into playing a prank.

Gabriel looked up at him. "If you don't believe us go and check."

Dean was taken aback by the adult look that shone through. It had been over a month now, since they had been changed, and they behaved so much like the toddlers they looked like that it was sometimes hard to remember that they were adults in there, aeons old adults. Castiel had explained it. It was instinct vying for dominance with instruction, impulse with control, and for the most part the childish emotions they felt won hands down over any adult logic. It was easier to just give in to it rather than fight, which left them exhausted and cranky, and even more likely to behave like little kids.

Leaving the two angels to their colouring Dean went upstairs, hooking the attic stairs down and climbing them. Sure enough Balthazar was curled up in the nest of 'borrowed' clothes and sheets and the softest towels, eyes closed and thumb firmly pressed into his mouth. Dean didn't reach across the space between the attic opening and the nest to touch the sleeping angel. Balthazar didn't really appreciate being touched or 'manhandled' as he called it, and was fairly vocal about it when he was awake.

He descended the stairs and pushed them back up, sealing the attic up again until Balthazar decided to get up, and returned back to the living room, where Gabriel was still colouring quietly. Dean was still suspicious, but for the moment he was willing to take the break he was given.

xxx

Lunch came and went, and Gabriel's mischievous streak came back with a vengeance, resulting in everything getting covered in honey and sugar. The adults ended up being so busy cleaning up and trying to bathe two very sticky angels that no one noticed Balthazar still hadn't come downstairs yet.

It wasn't until much later, when Sam was setting up the DVD player with the newest addition to their ever growing Disney collection, A Bugs Life, that the blond angel's presence was missed again.

"Where's Balthazar?" he asked.

Castiel and Gabriel shared a short look before Gabriel screwed his eyes shut for a moment. "Sleeping." He said, when he'd opened them again, there was the smallest hint of concern there suddenly.

"Still?" Dean asked with a frown.

"Still?" Sam echoed his face scrunched up into a frown. "Now that you mention it, he wasn't at lunch."

Castiel hunched a little suddenly and opened his mouth, over which Gabriel suddenly clamped a hand. "He's just tired. He'll be fine tomorrow." The little archangel said brightly.

"Gabriel." Dean said warningly.

There was a struggle on Gabriel's face, as he tried to come to some sort of decision. Castiel pushed the hand away from his mouth and spoke before Gabriel reached his own decision.

"Balthazar's sick."

Sam was moving before Castiel had even finished his sentence, and Dean could hear him taking the stairs three at a time.

"Cas. What do you mean he's sick? I thought you said Angels couldn't get sick." Dean said.

Gabriel let out a frustrated sigh suddenly. "It's not that kind of sick." The archangel told him. "He's…" Gabriel struggled to find the right word. "Pining."

"Pining?" Dean asked, not understanding.

Castiel nodded. "It's the closest human equivalent." He said. "It's a wasting sickness."

That didn't sound good. "Wasting? As in, he's going to fade away? Starve to death?" then Dean's face hardened. "Is this some kind of ploy so we'll give him alcohol? Because that's not going to happen."

"No!" Gabriel burst out, his wings twitched in agitation. "He's… It's…"

"You don't touch him enough." Castiel said bluntly.

Gabriel's wings twitched again in Dean's stunned silence. "It's not so much that. More that you don't ever seem to touch him when you're not… agitated with him, or sort of angry in general."

Dean's eyes sought out Bobby's, who had stopped by the doorway to check in on them all. "But Balthazar doesn't like being touched." He said.

Gabriel snorted and Castiel gave Dean a thoroughly disapproving look. "Of course he likes being touched!" Gabriel said imperiously, as if he was speaking to a small child, and was not, in fact, one himself. "He's just too shy to throw himself at you for it like Cas does."

Castiel's glare redirected for a moment to land on Gabriel, who just looked back, unrepentant.

"Balthazar's shy?" Bobby asked with a snort.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Shyest in all of heaven." He confirmed.

"Am not!"

Balthazar's statement made everyone turn. The little blond was curled against Sam's chest, cheeks a little red from embarrassment, or anger.

Gabriel grinned at his brother. "Balthazar, we'd all of died of old age before you'd reach out to any of us first."

Dean's eyes flicked between the angels for a minute before he looked at Sam, who shrugged a little. Castiel caught his confusion and explained, as best he could.

"Angels touch with their grace. We are not constrained in specific forms as humans are, unless we are in a vessel. But even then we can still spread our grace to touch one another." He said. "When we are cut off from others of our own kind, we feel this loss of touch keenly."

"It sucks ass." Gabriel added in, conjuring up some candy for himself and his brothers.

Castiel nodded. "We each form a method to help us cope with that loss. For Gabriel it was his tricks, and I suspect his obsession with confectionary." Gabriel nodded, seemingly uncaring that he was revealing something to them now he would never have revealed as an adult. "For Balthazar it was alcohol, and for myself it was you."

"But what does that have to do with us? I mean, you three have each other now, so how does us touching you help anything?" Dean asked.

"Whether you like it or not Deano, you, Sammy and Grumpy Hat over there are part of our little flock." Gabriel told him plainly. "Surely you noticed that we used to touch you before all this?"

"Yeah." Sam said suddenly. "You and Castiel did."

Gabriel nodded. "We can't touch grace with you like we do with other angels, so we have to do it the human way. It's the same basic principal anyway." He shrugged.

Dean looked back across to Sam. Balthazar was being very quiet, not, he realised suddenly, that Balthazar was every really chatty with any of them, saving all his words for whispered conspiring with Gabriel, or soothing Castiel after one of Gabriel's pranks, or a particularly nasty sarcastic comment to one of the adults. He hadn't moved from where Sam held him against his chest, he did look tired and about ready to fall asleep again, despite sleeping the whole day away so far.

"That doesn't explain why Balthazar's sick." He wasn't going to say pining, because it sounded like the little angel was heartsick, and that just sounded troubling on a whole 'nother level.

"Told you." Gabriel said, around the lolly he's crammed into his mouth. "Balthazar's shy."

"'m not." Balthazar rejoined tiredly.

"Our Grace is not enough to sustain us sufficiently." Castiel said, hunching down again. "It is like when we were first created, we never really felt complete and whole unless we could feel the affection of our siblings."

Gabriel shook his head. "We could be trying to explain it to you for the rest of your lives and you still wouldn't understand. Can we just leave it at this? You all need to ignore it when Balthazar tells you he doesn't want to be picked up, or cuddled. Not that he'll be saying much of that the next couple of days. And you need to remember to touch him at least once every day, because he's shy!" Gabriel gave each of the humans a stern look and then turned back to look at the TV.

"Now, can we please put on the movie?"

xxx

Balthazar stayed curled up against Sam's chest for the whole movie, dozing peacefully. The following day he was back to himself, scheming with Gabriel and helping Castiel with some translations. None of the humans in the house fully understood what Gabriel and Castiel had been trying to explain to them, but at least they were now aware of it, whatever it meant.


	2. Chapter 2

_So this was supposed to be a cute thing about Disney films and each Angels favourite... but apprently Sam wanted to know more about the whole Angel Touching thing and wouldn't give over. So here. Balthazar is probably OOC, but he's harder that I thought he would be to write. Don't worry Disney movies... will get to you at some point!_

_xxx_

They still didn't know why it was so important to the angels that they be touched, hugged and lifted so often, but once it was pointed out to them they all began to notice how much they really did end up with an arm or lap full of squirming baby angel.

Cas, as Gabriel had pointed out, was the main one, he just seemed to appear, always useful and unobtrusive, but there. He preferred to find someone relatively stationary, and would sit for hours on their knees, contented, even more so if the person he'd chosen as his seat for the day wrapped an arm around him for safety's sake.

Gabriel was more of 'dash and grab', for seemingly no reason at all he would just launch himself from the back of the couch, or the stairs, or one of Bobby's book shelves, trusting whoever he was jumping to, to catch him, then small arms would wind round their neck in a hug before he was shimming down and away to make more mischief. He did crawl into their (usually Sam's) lap occasionally when he was feeling tired to just sit and let himself be cuddled.

Balthazar didn't. He'd cuddle up to his brothers happily enough, but the second Sam, Dean or Bobby showed up he would move himself to the furthest point away from them. If any of them went to touch him he'd hunch up and tell them he didn't want to be manhandled, that he wasn't a child, and couldn't they just give him a drink. But he'd lean into the touch and soak up whatever it was angels got from the contact.

It made Sam feel like they were neglecting him, because Balthazar never once asked for the affection Gabriel and Castiel took without question. And now that he was looking for it, Sam could see the signs in all of the angels. In the way a human child got tired because they were hungry or thirsty and would turn to their parents to supply them with what they needed to continue on their merry way, the little angels needed some form of contact, energy maybe, that only the 'Flock' could provide.

The idea that Balthazar was shy was a funny one, because the little angel seemed anything but shy, heck, he'd been anything but shy as an adult angel as well, but he was certainly more reluctant than his brothers to spend time with the adults of the house, and he did, generally seem to be the least energetic of the three once they really got going.

But once he'd noticed, Sam began to do something about it. It was an easy thing to pluck Balthazar from a scheming session with Gabriel, rest him on his hip, and whisk him off to do some mundane chore, like the washing, or cleaning the kitchen surfaces (that it also delayed Gabriel's pranks for a while was an added bonus). Balthazar would complain, but he never made any move to escape, so Sam took it to mean he was doing the right thing.

xxx

"So tell me about this whole touching thing." He asked one morning, about a week and a half later.

He was folding the laundry, and Balthazar was on his shoulder, little legs curled round his neck and chin resting on his hair. The small hands, which had been tracing patterns around Sam's ears stilled suddenly and Sam wondered if he'd crossed some kind of a line, but he really did want to understand.

"I don't know why the idiots had to go and mention it in the first place." Balthazar finally sighed.

"Because they were worried about you." Sam told him, though Balthazar should already know that, Gabriel and Castiel had been unobtrusively reminding all of them to pay some attention of Balthazar, in their own ways.

"I was just tired." Balthazar stated petulantly.

"Gabriel said you were Pining." Sam mentioned.

Balthazar snorted. "Gabriel is an idiot."

There was silence for a minute and Sam was expecting the little angel to slither down his back and away, but was pleasantly surprised when the small fingers began tracing their patterns again.

"When we were first created we were full of love. Affection, from Father. We all felt it, it was constant and we thought it was never ending. Until Lucifer began to question, and Father began to withdraw. Michael, Gabriel and Raphael tried to stem it as best they could, but for the first time in our existence we weren't filled with Fathers affection for us.

"When the fall came we lost many of our siblings. Father still didn't… We did the only thing we could do, we turned to each other and began sharing Grace, soothing doubt and anger and fear away with affection and love for each other. That's when the Garrisons were formed, so that we would form bonds and could always be sure there would be someone who could share Grace with us.

"When an angel leaves heaven, like we did, there isn't that… support network anymore. By the time I left it was already breaking down in Heaven as well. You can live with it. It won't kill you, but it does make it harder sometimes."

Sam frowned. "Ok… But the three of you can do this 'Grace sharing' right? I just don't understand why touching us is so important."

"When we were adult, and had our powers, Grace sharing was easier. We don't have the same control of it… Me and Cassie, we can't even make it twitch anymore. Gabriel's doing what he can, but his Grace is limited as well, and he can't concentrate on us all the time. And you and the other two mud monkeys are part of Cassie's new Flock, and by default part of ours, so…"

Balthazar sighed. "It's hard to explain. Because you don't have any Grace, you can't feel us, and you don't know what we take."

Sam hmmed in agreement, because it was true, he didn't really understand, though Balthazar's explanation was at least less disjointed than Gabriel's and Castiel's. "So it's important, and our tiny human brains can't comprehend it." Sam said with a slight smile. "But if it is so important, and you obviously need it, for whatever reason. Why don't you take it? Do what Gabriel and Cas do? None of us are going to dump you on your ass and refuse you know."

Then Sam felt Balthazar slither down his back and land on the floor with a small thump and a rustle of feathers. "Gabriel's calling me." The little angel lied, and darted out of the room, leaving Sam frowning.

Maybe he needed to learn a little bit more about Balthazar, because there was obviously something more here than he could see.


	3. Chapter 3

_Ha! I told you I'd get the disney films in here somehow!_

**Disney Films**

Gabriel's favourite Disney film was Lilo and Stitch.

Sam had very nearly put the DVD right back on the shelf when he read the back, envisioning Gabriel taking notes on things to do to them all after watching it. In the end he'd bought it, mostly because he knew the angels emotions were on a tightrope, and he knew what it was like to be the 'trouble maker' of the family, and it was nice sometimes to see that even the trouble maker is still loved and one of the family.

Gabriel seemed to have understood what he'd meant if the extra tight hug before he's scampered off to bed was any indication.

His least favourite was Finding Nemo. He'd watch it, but he always had a scathing remark and a whole critical commentary to go with it. But only if he thought someone was watching him. If caught unawares there was a sort of wistful look on his face.

xxx

Castiel's favourite was Finding Nemo, for exactly the same reasons Gabriel insisted it was the stupidest film in existence. Because the father goes looking for his son. Dean just shook his head, but wasn't about to stomp all over Castiel's hope that maybe, just maybe, his father was out there somewhere looking for them.

His least favourite was anything where the main characters parents died, leaving them alone. The Lion King was the biggest culprit for this dislike. Castiel had actual taken the DVD and thrown it in the trash. He refused to watch the second and third on principle alone. Needless to say, Bambi had been passed over many times when Dean went to pick up a new film. In fact, anything that had a parental figure get killed in it was bypassed in favour of less upsetting films.

xxx

Balthazar, as far as the brothers could see, didn't have a favourite, the same way he never seemed very interested in anything except for booze. He was just as entranced as his brothers in whatever film was put on, but he never expressed a particular opinion for what was put on, deferring to Gabriel and Castiel if directly asked.

It wasn't until he was tidying the stack of DVD's one day that Sam realised they were missing a genre. He made a mental note, and on his next trip into town he stood in front of the Disney section for so long, a young mother sidled up beside him.

"Need any help?" she asked.

Sam started, and managed to dredge up a smile. "Uh. Just looking for a new DVD for my-" he had to stop himself from saying nephews, because that wouldn't help him find what he needed. "for my niece." He smiled.

The woman smiled. "Then I can help. I have a five year old girl, I know all about the sorts of films they like."

Sam scratched the back of his head. "She's sort of… a tomboy I guess." He hoped Balthazar never found out about this. Despite the fact that angels were essentially genderless, he was sure he would catch hell for it.

"Even tomboys like to watch films about Princesses." The woman told him sagely, reaching out and lifting two films from the display. "Try these. They're the newest out so far, so they aren't quite as 'soppy' as the older Princess movies were."

Sam accepted the DVD's. "Uh, thanks."

The woman smiled. "No worries, enjoy."

xxx

When Sam arrived back at Bobby's he was hoping he hadn't made a terrible mistake. The boys were waiting by the door, Gabriel making grabby hands for the bag with the DVD's, because they'd gotten a new one every single time one of the adults returned from town, so it wasn't a surprise they were waiting for it.

Sam handed over the bag before going to the kitchen to put the rest of the shopping away.

"Princess movies?" Dean hissed when Sam joined them in the living room afterwards, the adverts already playing.

Sam shrugged.

"Dude, they're guys. You don't go getting Princess movies for guys." Dean told him, clearly annoyed.

"We are genderless Dean." Castiel pointed out, curling up against Dean's side.

"Sorry we don't conform to your little preconceived macho notions Deano." Gabriel grinned from the arm of the couch beside Sam, who looped his arm around him to keep him from falling off as he bounced in anticipation.

Brave was thoroughly enjoyed by all of them, even Dean, though he refused to admit it. But it wasn't until they watched Tangled the following evening that Sam really saw Balthazar's eyes light up. He wasn't sure what it was that made Balthazar enjoy it so much more than the other Disney movies, but if a few more Disney Princess movies made their way into the collection, Sam wasn't about to let Dean make a fuss about it.

And if it got him a surreptitious cuddle on the couch while they watched them, he wasn't going to mention that either.

xxx

_Yes, Balthazar likes the Disney Princess Movies. Why? Because I thought it fit him. I deliberated a lot of Disney films (and believe me, I own pretty much all the Disney cartoons, well, my and my brother share them), and it was a cross between the Disney Princesses and the film UP. And while I love UP, I think the angels genderless natures is too often overlooked. (And I like Brave and Tangled alright, they're awesome movies!)_


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know where this came from exactly, but it got stuck in my head and needed to be written.

xxx

_Dean did his best to ignore Castiel screaming Gabriel's name. He didn't look at the fire that was ravaging Bobby's house; the Holy oil they hadn't even realised was there until the fire that closed in on itself, leaving Sam trapped in the centre with Balthazar._

_Dean kept his eyes trained on Gabriel, on the trembling wings and the fierce concentration obvious in the tense set of his little shoulders._

_They'd tried to put the fire out, tried to clear a path through the oil, but it was too intense and nothing short of a miracle was going to save the two trapped inside. Dean might have been able to reach Sam and pull him to safety, but that still left Balthazar trapped inside, imprisoned by the burning oil that was slowly destroying the house._

_It wouldn't have changed anything. Gabriel would still be standing right there, doing his damnest to make that miracle happen, because he was a big brother._

_Suddenly the previously cloudless and clear sky opened and Gabriel collapsed and Castiel let out another scream, and the small, black winged little angel was beside Gabriel, running small hands across his brother and sobbing._

_Dean knelt beside them, and lifted Gabriel carefully out of the mud that was already forming and looked at the house, still standing and barely scorched as the fire died away under the weight of the rain, and Sam stepped outside the front door as the flames flickered away to nothing, cradling Balthazar in his arms._

xxx

That had been days ago. The fire damage had been entirely superficial, the only evidence left now was the charred mess of wood partially hidden under one of the carpets where the Demon who'd started all this had burnt to nothing. Sam was confined to rest until he stopped coughing up a lung every time he moved, the smoke inside the house had been terrible he'd explained, voice hoarse and harsh sounding.

Gabriel was still out for the count, and for the most part Dean left him with Sam, hoping the constant contact with one of them would help bring the little archangel back to them. The house was too quiet without him.

Not that Dean and Bobby didn't still have things to deal with, fortifying the wards against Demons, just in case this had not been just the crazed plan of a lone demon and more knew about the mini angels. It was not the most relaxing of times in the Singer household.

Castiel was dividing his time between perching on the couch arm to watch Sam and Gabriel recovering from the fire, or following Dean around with a hand attached to the leg of his jeans as if afraid to let go. Dean knew he was only seeking some reassurance, but it was annoying, and he had to keep stopping himself from snapping at Castiel, reminding himself that Cas had more cause to be upset. After all, none of them knew if Gabriel would be the same when… if… he woke up.

xxx

It was one of the rare afternoons when Castiel had curled himself up on the couch beside Sam, when Dean caught Balthazar sitting in the kitchen, with one of Bobby's whisky bottles, mid swallow. The blond angel froze and Dean's temper flared.

He strode across the kitchen, reaching out to catch hold of the first bit of Balthazar that he could, which ended up being his wing, jerking the bottle away from him harshly.

"What the fuck?" he snarled, voice low because he knew Sammy and Castiel were sleeping and he didn't want to disturb them. "You haven't caused enough fucking trouble already?"

He saw Balthazar flinch, and some part of him did realise that he was being unfairly cruel, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. He gave Balthazar a rough shake, before moving his grip from wing to arms and lifting the angel off the counter and despotising him none too gently onto the ground.

"Just fuck off Balthazar." He growled, turning back to the counter and reaching for the whisky himself to stop himself saying something he would really regret. He heard Balthazar scuttle out of the kitchen and closed his eyes, taking a swig from the bottle.

He finished the bottle himself, earning himself a glare from Bobby when he came in, but that was all, and the two of them went back to the wards, and trying to figure out how to wake up Gabriel.

xxx

It wasn't until much later, when he went to tuck an extra blanket round his still sleeping brother and the angels nestled around him that Dean noticed Balthazar wasn't there. Angrier at himself for losing his temper than at Balthazar, Dean did a quick recap of the last few days and was disturbed to realise that until this afternoon he had not actually seen Balthazar since the night of the fire.

He assumed the little angel must have been putting in an appearance to Sam every once in a while when the man was awake, or Sam would have mentioned it. Sam had somehow bonded with Balthazar, though Dean couldn't figure out how.

Dean sighed, tucked the blanket around the sleepers and trudged his way upstairs to the attic, figuring that was where Balthazar might be hiding, and knowing he had some apologising to do, even if he didn't really want to admit to it, he had lashed out and Balthazar had borne the brunt of it. And the little angels were _delicate_ emotionally sometimes, Castiel alone proved that in spades.

He very nearly missed Balthazar, who had completely cocooned himself in one of Sam's shirts, the one, Dean recognised suddenly, that been wrapped up in when Sam had stumbled out of the house. He'd stayed bundled up in it, standing beside Cas while he and Bobby had been looking after Gabriel, and a newly collapsed Sammy, his face etched in worry that had surprised Dean at the time.

Dean reached out to run his hand across the mounds at Balthazar's back, remembering the way he'd grabbed one of those little wings earlier, had he been any angrier he could have snapped it like a twig, maybe… he wasn't entirely sure just how durable an angels wings were, and he really didn't want to find out.

Balthazar flinched away from his touch and a pained sound was groaned out around the thumb in the blond's mouth. Dean frowned, something niggling inside him. He flipped the switch that lit the attic up. Balthazar opened his eyes immediately and froze up when he saw Dean.

Dean climbed the rest of the way into the attic to sit cross legged beside the nest. Balthazar was fighting with the shirt he'd wrapped himself in, trying to free himself from it as quickly as he could. Dean watched him flinch again when he tried to untangle his wings. Unable to watch any longer, Dean reached across and lifted the blond angel gently into his lap, his nose wrinkling at the smell of smoke from the shirt.

It didn't take much to untangle the grey wings and Dean winched himself when he saw the haphazard attempt at bandaging around the bend in the wing and signs of singed and burned feathers, there was another bandage taped awkwardly across his shoulder, only visible because the end of the medical tape was stuck to his neck.

"You do this yourself?" he asked.

Balthazar hunched his shoulders. "What's it to you Winchester?" came the edged response.

Dean sighed lightly, he deserved that. He carefully adjusted his arms and lifted Balthazar a little so he could get his feet under him. Balthazar made an aborted grab for the shirt before it fell but missed. Used to Cas doing the same when he was tired, Dean lifted the shirt and tucked in into the crook of the arm holding the angel so he could grab it of he wanted to.

He carefully carried Balthazar down from the attic, he was about to put him down and tell him to wait in the bathroom, before he stopped himself. He wouldn't do it if it were Cas he was holding, and he was pretty sure he wouldn't if it was Gabriel in the same state, so he adjusted his hold instead and carried Balthazar down and into the kitchen.

Bobby raised his eye brows in surprise, but Dean shook his head, hoping Bobby would take the hint. The old man did, going back to his book while Dean pulled the first aid book out from one of the cupboards, letting Dean go back upstairs with a too quiet angel in his arms.

He started the bath before taking a seat on the toilet lid. He began carefully peeling the clothes off, realising as he did that they were in as bad a state as Sam's shirt was. Balthazar was silent when he did, until Dean began gently pulling off the bandages, letting out a low hiss when he saw the burns hidden underneath.

"Why are you doing this?" Balthazar asked finally.

"Doing what?" Dean asked.

Balthazar let out a small sound that Dean thought was supposed to be a snort, but didn't quite work. "You made it abundantly clear earlier today just what exactly you thought of me."

Dean sighed, leaning across to stop the water in the tub. "Ok. I'm only going to say this once, so you need to listen. I was wrong to say what I did to you earlier. I lost my temper. It wasn't your fault."

Balthazar shifted a little, looking round at him in wide eyed surprise.

Dean felt a twinge of regret for his earlier temper, which morphed into something a lot closer to concern when Balthazar lowered his eyes and hunched his shoulders again. Not really sure what to say, he lifted Balthazar across to the bath and checked the water wasn't too hot before he lowered the little angel into it.

Balthazar sat; tense and wary as Dean began to slowly clean him off, paying extra attention to the injured areas. It wasn't comfortable for either of them, and Dean was only too glad when it was done, because it was one thing checked off the list. He was just getting a towel when Balthazar spoke again.

"It is my fault though, isn't it?"

It was so quiet, Dean wasn't sure he'd really heard it, but a glanced at Balthazar studiously watching the ripple in the water told him he hadn't been imagining it. "For what?" Dean asked

Balthazar sighed but didn't look up. "If it wasn't for me Gabriel wouldn't have- and your brother wouldn't even have been in the house." The blond said. "I told him to go."

"Good luck telling Sam to do anything." Dean said. "And as for Gabriel. You're his little brother Balthazar, of course he was going to try and save you. It's what big brothers do."

"Well it was stupid." Balthazar said, but it didn't have any of his usual bite to it. "This whole thing is stupid!" and he got up abruptly, and before Dean could lift him, he was scrabbling over the side of the bath himself, landing on the floor with a wet "thwapp". Dean barely caught him before he reached the door, wrapping the towel around him and lifting, ignoring the flapping wings and the water being sprayed everywhere.

"I still need to bandage up those burns again." Dean told him, retaking his seat on the toilet and holding the angel until he stopped squirming.

It wasn't until Dean was carefully smoothing some burn cream onto the singed feathers, not even sure if it would do much good, that he realised Balthazar was crying, just small huffs of breath and the occasionally swipe across his eyes.

"Oh God!" he groaned, but he gently turned Balthazar to face him and gathered the towel wrapped boy up in a hug, rocking him gently and whispering "It's not your fault." Over and over again, until the little huffs of breath became full blown sobs that made Dean's heart break a little, because no kid, even if he was a dick angel, should ever sound so upset.

Dean carefully deposited Balthazar into the crook of Sam's arm, right next to where Gabriel was still sleeping, tucking the blanket in around him. When he was sure his brother and the angels were all resting peacefully, he gathered the pile of smoky clothes and headed straight for the washer.

Bobby was still in the kitchen reading, but he didn't ask any questions, just offered Dean a shot of whisky when he came back from starting the washer up.

Dean truly hoped Gabriel would wake soon, because he didn't think just any older brother was going to be able to set Balthazar's mind at ease, though Dean would do his best until Gabriel could take over again.


End file.
